Feelings

A satire based on C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters"

My Dear Muckworth,

How doeth my wonderful pupil? Gifted beyond measure, and, oh, so capable, what a delight you are to your poor old tutor. Seldom does a day go by when I don’t ponder incessantly how to lavish more kindness on you. You are special indeed and hold such a special place in my heart. If you need any assistance, please make me your first call because there is nothing I would rather do. I watch you work with pride and amazement, for what you are accomplishing is first-rate indeed. I find myself wondering at times if you even need more lessons. You will be great indeed, and every fiber of my being is devoted to seeing that such a reality comes to pass.

Today, we discuss the very heart of a woman’s soul, or so we would have them think. That ultimate reality, which, when homage is paid, nets a bountiful harvest. That charming prince with the kiss of death. Our empire in the realm of emotions is vast and profitable. Hard-pressed you would be to find a more lucrative investment for your human project. The colorful combination of possibilities on the canvas of emotion comprises a vast spectrum that beckons your primal creative capacities. No matter what has already been laid, it can be changed in any way and at any time. For this to work, you must grasp what they are and how they work.

Feelings are a state of the mind and body resulting from realities and perceptions of reality. Remember the Maze of Doors for Perceptual Growth at the training center? Emotions and feelings are no different than those doors – perfectly reasonable as a route (that is, without regard for origins and consequences). ‘Twould be injurious indeed were your patient to discover that feelings are not ultimate reality. Indicators of a part of reality, sure, but which part is the question she mustn’t ask. Given this information, perhaps you can begin to see why “causing emotional chaos” is one of my favorite pastimes with feminine souls.

As an aside, while their masculine counterparts are given to anger and power, we have managed to convince many that women are not capable of such. On the contrary, women are just as given to anger and power but do not naturally seek a physical expression of such feelings. Reputation destruction and character assassination are much more subtle methods to achieve similar results by those who venerate self-will. Regarding anger, remember that though little can be accomplished with it, we would have them attempt nothing without it.

From childhood to old age, there is not a phase in your patient’s life during which feelings are not a legitimate strategy. When they are young, they seek acceptance and security. A self-centered and impudent father can alter their soul irreparably but would gain you a promotion. It is amusing to watch some claim they have outgrown their childhood and now have a corner on life. One can pretend to have escaped the helplessness of childhood but given time, they will return. One of your goals is to have her ‘grow up’ earlier as well as to prolong her return to childhood for as long as possible. He can’t recruit or work with them if they consider themselves anything more than a youngster.

When she is a youth, comparison, jealousy, and fear work best. The feminine souls have a deep desire to be loved and valued, unlike their masculine counterparts who need nothing from no one and have it all together. While different between cultures, there are standards of physical beauty upon which you must convince the girl that her worth depends. The degree to which this strategy is successful depends on the balance of the physical-nonphysical scale in her mind. Regarding her nature, the more credence she places on the physical side of the scale, the more she will value meeting the standards of others, for no one wants to be seen as “less than” in the most valuable aspect of life. It is all chutes and no ladders. The more she chases fashions, standards, and approval; the more we move them. Even if attained, the chalice is empty. The more set she is on receiving attention, the more her heart will be broken. On the other hand, if she places more credence on the nonphysical side of the scale, she will be less likely to seek physical approval. This is where that scoundrel plays the ace. He alone knows who they are and can fill their deepest need, and even offers to do so. The best we have to offer is a man.

As she enters adulthood, significance and worth will be at the forefront. The quicker you can get her to think she is a nobody without somebody, the easier your work will be. Whereas we frighten them with the idea that, unless every one of their capacities is utilized, they are worthless; he sells that there is nothing that cannot be redeemed and used for good. Those without, with him, have. Those put-down, with him, lifted. Those with tears, with him, rejoicing. All our attempts to make the young question their value, worth, and their life altogether because they have not married or had children, are merely to hide the plan he has for them. He redefines lost, insignificant, broken, and without. Who better to be trusted with the young souls on the other side who knew not a father or mother than those barren on earth? Any gift or reality seemingly ‘missed’ or ‘broken’ he will tool to a greater purpose. With him, there are no levels of value. There aren’t any on the outside. There is no missing out. Everything is further up, and further in. Like a recycling savant, he means to redeem everything, I tell you. Like a blasted phoenix from the ashes, there is no level of destruction, loss, or incapacity beyond his capacity to redeem. And, though I hate to say it, redeem he will. If she marries and has children, your strategy will be different, as you will need to collaborate closely with at least one or more accomplices. The level of sophistication and difficulty increases as well, which is why the council decided to start you out with someone young, to let you gain experience. The more people that are involved in her life, the more susceptible she is. We will cover those lessons in time. I haven’t the energy to delve into such topics now as I believe my talons are developing a spright of canalis carpi.

What should you be weary of, you might wonder? Well, first off, her discovery that feelings are not omnipotent but rather derivative in nature; they can hardly stand in their own right. They indicate something, that’s a given, good or bad, but are closely tied to thoughts such that they never arrive unaided. You cannot attack her feelings alone without simultaneously attacking her thoughts, for it would be unsuccessful. Take, for example, a girl whose family was large, loving, and supportive. Her thoughts regarding her identity would be firm and not easily moved. Then say that a boy rejected her which resulted in feelings of loss and rejection. The degree to which her thoughts were built from the identity and acceptance of her family, is inversely proportional to the degree the feelings of loss and rejection would have a say over her. If, however, you lead her out of the thoughts that her family loves and accepts her, and into the thoughts that her identity is built on another individual and their acceptance of her, the feelings of rejection would be exponentially stronger for there are no reality-aligned thoughts to counteract them. Feelings and emotions serve a purpose by design, but they can also be triggered by thoughts not in accordance with reality. Your goal is to have her identity built on anything moveable, it matters not what, for then, you can more easily have your way with her. And while we let on that all things are immovable, precious little truly is. When feelings are seen as the will, she has no hope. While the will provides the only foundation stable enough to process feelings, lead her to accept the tempest as the foundation. She need look no further than the murder, divorce, and simmering anger of her own culture for countless examples of the results of lives built on the foundation of feelings. Camouflage well the fact that she lives at the mercy of ideas, not feelings.

If she starts feeling things she doesn’t like, let her not ask why. If she begins to ask why, let her on to some reason other than the right one. Blaming others for one’s bad feelings works well here, for who likes to admit that the problem is with themselves or those on their side? Better to see others as wrong, or out of step. Don't let her discover that feelings can be traced to a source – an arduous, though fitting, endeavor that few dare to attempt. This shifting leads to an amusing game of seek, kill, and destroy, for the one attacked likely won’t know how to handle those feelings either. If there is no one to attack, for reasons of there being no perceptible link between the feeling and a person or the person has claimed godlike status in spiritual matters, see that she blames herself. The latter brings the best results from which few ever escape. If the feelings persist and the blame game doesn’t do the trick, lead her to seek that which brings good feelings. Hedonic joy tarries for a night, but sorrow comes in the morning. And you must work quickly. Bad feelings are most effective when they are unexamined. The pausing of reaction, the slowing of response, and the clarification of understanding through the asking of journalistic questions (emotional tomfoolery’s Achilles' heel) shuts down the circuitry we are trying to override by taking the system offline. If she is not good at this, it doesn’t mean she is incapable. All it takes is someone in her life to get close enough to earn her trust and help her dismantle the stronghold. If such happens, paint that the enemy's reality is devoid of feeling and fit only for old ninnies, as a last-ditch effort to save her. Can’t have her figuring out that not only did he design feelings and knows how they work best, but he has more feelings, of the good kind, on an incomprehensible scale ready to reveal after their earthly tenure. Feelings hate to be ignored. If she gets to the place where, when the strongest ungrounded feelings come, she continues as if nothing happened until they lose their power and can be interrogated head-on, you are up a wadi with a paddle. Feelings thrive on quick responses, so see to it that you condition her to respond to everything – and that quickly – so when the feelings come, she has no defense. Just hide that feelings are better as the Servant of ‘right’ than Master of it. And whatever you do, portray the little winds as big, scary, untamable brutes. Can’t have her discovering they can be dropped by a single thought, now, can we?

Ponder for a moment, if you will, the value of acquainting her with those given to emotionalism. The more that emotions occupy the focus of her life, the less progress, the less capable, the less of a threat, and, of course, desirably so, the more turmoil will be present. While this doesn’t happen often, it is possible, and ought to be one of your goals, to so endear her to emotions and feelings that up is seen as down, light as darkness, and truth as evil. It all starts with an innocent breadcrumb-like trail of tantalizing emotions, which, having meandered for some time, loops around on itself to face the way one came. Due to their nature of habit, and a cultivated appetite for the fickle morsels, the votary would rather about-face and charge into the familiar, for the exit has become, in their mind, equivalent to the way of such which worketh iniquity. At such a point, you need not bother with traps or schemes, for you need neither. They will have become their own trap. That intended for construction has been put to the task of quarrying. Ladders – abominable temptations from the antagonist. Such a state is possible and desirable. A great tragedy that begins with, among other things, innocent little emotions. Those who place much value on emotion can even use it as a kind of currency to be traded. Or better, some who hunger for emotions use them to prey on those with sincere hearts, and that in the name of our counterpart and his realm. You must lead her to them. Such would rather pick the low-hanging fruit of response at the expense of the tree for reputational reinforcement, rather than protect, nurture, and strengthen the same, though without perceptible effect. They would rather create a bemusing spectacle of further subjugating serfs for the sake of self-aggrandizement, and that under his banner, though a comparable feat of emotional stirring a clown could accomplish. The ancient art of bulwark buttressing has been all but lost, for which I humbly take all the credit I can get. You needn’t think I won’t harvest your dues similarly. Now, why all the fuss you are probably wondering? You dunce! Do you not know what would happen were she to become an emotional pugilist? Far from being devoid of feeling, she would befriend the lot of them, though in his way and at his time. What's more, even your assault will be turned into your route. What might this look like, you ask? Well, for starters, when she is reviled, she would revile not again. When ill is spoken, she would speak not ill in return. When someone takes that which belongs to her, she would offer something else they might need. Once she finds this to work, she will travel further into such a pitiful, yet unphasable, state that you will be planning your own ambush. When she is denigrated, she would, in the moment, invite the assailant to coffee with the expressed mind to get to know them better. When she is mocked for her dress, mannerisms, or looks, she would return such with a compliment of the same to the giver. The epitome of lost, if there were one, for she will have developed a cold heart of stone.

If you have trouble discerning which feelings to lead her into, remember that feelings are fantastically egotistical. You will not find them promoting anything that doesn’t include them. If you find that it’s not always possible to tell from whence something came, look below the surface. The source of things can be deduced from the words and results of its results as well as by the kinds of people attracted. Practice but hide the art of vicarious discernment, whereby, having known one, one can know another. Those who have been fed a steady diet of feelings will find their will at the mercy of circumstances that supply the edibles. As my uncle always said, “A farmer makes a poor beggar.” Though outdated and old-fogyish, he was on to something. You may quote me as saying, “beggars who drill an aquifer, make farmers of beggars.” The more dependent she is on emotional handouts, the more incapable of garnering resources for the journey where she will discover she doesn’t need them. Lead her into, feed her on, and starve her with feelings.

There are many threats the enemy launches to charm her out of our miserable dwelling, of which you must beware. Peace, of the kind that is stable in storms. Rest, that leaves little to be concerned about. A tax of the heart that is cheap and light. A source of goodness that won’t dry up. An acceptance that is grounded in something that doesn’t change, move, or alter. And the promise of a life of the overflowing type. Such are his revolting ways. And somehow, he fools them into thinking he delivers, though I don’t wonder if they are all merely pretending, to make us think they have something they really don’t. At any rate, keep up the good work. You are amazing, spectacular, and wonderful in all the ways possible!!!

Your affectionate uncle, Wormwood

P.S. - The enemy is like a starving beast seeking out whom he may devour. If you heed my words and learn of me, you will find abundant life – the good life. I have been doing this for a long time, and the council didn’t make me a tutor for no reason. I have been around the block and have acquired wisdom and understanding. I know you best for you are my pupil, and I won’t steer you wrong. If I can be of any assistance, I am here for you and look forward to your confiding in me for guidance.