A Satire based on C.S. Lewis's 'The Screwtape Letters'
Muckworth,
Seeking means to acquire more means is no end, but for your patient, employ any means to this end. Much of your work could be thwarted if the desire for power and ability were removed from her heart. They’re all born seeking to fill their own mouths and hearts only to discover in time that their appetite for both inevitably grows faster than their ability to fill it. You would do well to hold that each of them is a seeker and a finder. Indeed, to not seek is to not choose; a condition none can manage and remain human. Their reality does not afford the option to not choose, nor does it afford the option to not find. What they find is another matter entirely. Honestly acknowledging what one has found is not an activity for faint hearts, for the implications wrest all control and power from the individual. Who wants to look themselves, life, and their future in the face and admit that nothing makes sense without the enemy, except those poor souls on the quest for truth?
Life for the breathers involves a lengthy series of difficulties, pains, and losses. None are immune. Each must taste and see that things are awry. Not all must face the same challenges, for not all places, people, and situations are the same. Our methods for those born into means are markedly different than for those born without them. Your ignorance would be on full display, however, were you to conclude that the most common tools used with those who ‘have’ cannot be used on those who ‘have not’. Indeed, the contrary is often the case with astounding results. Pride and jealousy can infect those without just as they can the “well-off”, sometimes more so. Of course, the relative term “well-off” can only exist in terms of a point of reference. The acquisition of matter is that point of reference and is sure to occupy much of your patient’s time in the earthly simulation. Keep her far from the idea and reality of the realm of light and who leads to it, or she might be tempted to begin considering what "well-off" means in light of these reference points outside our control.
Their world is such that there are things and abilities to move things. Means and capacities allow them to interact with the material world without merely being a pawn, much like yourself. Those given to delusional self-grandiosity carefully cultivate their means and attention to those they deem worthy of being the recipient of themselves and what they have say over. Certainly, looking at the expectations and popular standards of the day to consider where to direct your patient's attention wouldn’t be a waste. However, the enemy walks around as a prowling lion seeking those who need a good welcoming into the pride. Given his actions (most of which escape our notice, not only because we don’t understand them, but because we just haven’t the energy to keep up with him if we could), you might think he knows nothing of the market, politics, or cultural standards. The uneasiness that accompanies our predicament compares to that of a stone-age army whose blissful ignorance finds them besieging what appears to be a comparable foe, yet whose city lies mostly underground and includes rail systems, electricity, and water works that control the very springs from which the besiegers drink. But the means and technology are of no effect to those outside his gate, which is why we still think we have a chance. So, press on.
One area, among other things, that might capture the fancy of your patient is money. Think of it as a means to increase the size and severity of the kingdom she currently occupies. Don’t let her interrogate this idea but lead her on that possessing more means will produce a different result. Of course, it will only produce more of the same, but she doesn’t know that. Her current position outside the gate means she is likely to look for it. Tasting the ability to order some parts of reality, far from satiating her famished soul, will quickly land her on our psychological loop of means, in which more produces more of the same, though one thinks more will somehow produce something different, and more of the same produces an environment of need, in which more is sought ad nauseum. For humans, their end is always established before their acquisition or use of means which are then employed to their end. Your job is to instill that no good end can be realized without means.
By no means let her discover how our rival means to offer contentment regardless of means, whereas we promise contentment by any means, though without fruition. The enemy provides quite easily, especially after exiling some of our most inept female relatives to work wage-free in the factories in the hills – a partial result of the curse we earned. Those cows aren’t afforded slumber or rest as they are cursed with eternal production, though most wonder from whence the wealth in the hills comes.
Regardless of means, his intention is to so guide the earthlings into such a pitiful state that even if all means are lost, they consider being with him more than adequate compensation and quickly look for a rock to begin pounding out something that exemplifies their gratitude for the very honor of being in his proximity. If you think you can win against this, think again. Remember, that though you’re exhausted and haven’t endurance, though your strength fails before breakfast is done, though you persist despite lack of resources, their Father’s full giving has but merely begun.
Much growth in goodness quickly follows the finding of the spring which can be partially accounted for by what one no longer needs to do. Once food is found, the energy once used for searching can be employed for other purposes. Their boss seems to particularly delight in displays of gratitude that come from their creative will. Were she to get this far, you might consider convincing her that she hasn’t the energy to act, or that he wouldn’t be pleased at her attempt. Focusing her attention on the acts of others leaves you with options like pride in her not having acquired means, or seeking to compete with those who have. If your patient somehow manages to acquire means, thinking of herself more highly than she ought produces many desirable realities, as does thinking herself incapable of production prior to her discovery of her capabilities.
Harvesting souls is not possible without understanding what a soul is. There aren’t many better ways to keep this understanding from your patient than to suggest that acquiring more means will change her predicament, though this would be equivalent to thinking that increasing one’s wrench collection will produce the antibiotic required to combat one’s illness.
You must keep her away from his path entirely, for the holistic success that accompanies his way is enough to sink your ship yet propel hers into the Eastern Sea. While I like to consider myself the ‘Game Master’, the other side doesn’t play games, except with us. He puts a delectable on square one and offers that they taste it and see if it would be worth pursuing square two. Like a virtual death trap of success, it is, for no matter how far they have traveled, more joy is ever placed before them. Of course, something must be left behind for every step forward, but good luck convincing your patient that what must be left costs more than the reward that lies ahead. Were she to embark on his way, you might be able to sway her that she is missing out on the real world, or that she has tasted the same old thing and needs to taste something else. Just be aware that over time, whatever the Light Lord does to them alters their tastes in such a way that the prospect of your morsels yields a bitter pungency where once a devilish brew of unfulfillable yet hopeful desirings held sway. The longer you can keep her from acknowledging your obvious charade, the easier your campaign of destruction.
Before I end, have you noticed how much your patient hates work? True, it’s not just her but nearly everyone on the planet hates the thought and necessity of a 9-to-5. They actively seek passive income from others' activity, without the slightest of wonderings on whether they were designed to survive in such in such laborious terms. Turns out, they were not, but most don’t know that. You will burn this letter after committing its contents to memory, won’t you?
Lastly, your lack of respect for my endeavors, despite the ruinous mound of mutilated souls in my wake, only goes to show that you are an ungrateful pig destined to accomplish nothing, for without me, you can do nothing.
Don’t you dare forget this, Wormwood
P.S. - I’m sure you’ve received notice of the upcoming ceremony to grieve the progress you cohort of stooges haven’t made. Given that you have not learned to sing and dance as the council would like, you are ineligible for consideration of honors. In fact, none lives up to our expectations. Your pitiful attempts might yield a few try-hard awards with reluctance, as our image can’t fall behind the other guilds, but your trying falls so substantially short of the breed we aim to cultivate, that anything grievous owing its origin to your group would be an unquestionable miracle. Given how few of those we see, I wouldn’t count on it. We judge everything by outward appearance only so improve yours. Full stop.