Politics

A satire based on C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters"

My Dear Muckworth,

First things first, I’ll have you know from my own snout that whatever Squallormuff said of me is not true. None of it. I know because I was there, because I know everything, and because no one else’s opinion of me matters more than my opinion of myself, for I am me. I highly recommend that you not form an opinion of me different than my opinion of myself, for it could be dangerous for your health. You have free will to choose the only option available to you, so choose wisely.

There are two inherent benefits of politics: making it of the utmost importance and making it of no importance. Make it out to be the greatest conceivable end – and all manner of warpedness is possible. Make it out to be of no importance –and the cruelty of despots will flourish. The quickest way to make wrong prosper is to convince good men to ignore it and hope it goes away. The walkers think it is possible to live without submission. Encourage them in this regard. If they could see the invisible landscape we inhabit, they would know that submission is very much like gravity – something everyone tries to avoid, yet no one can live without. The heart is always under the power of that which it stays close to. Some think that a life without gravity would be best. They build figurative spaceships to avoid all clutches and convince their offspring that to be pulled is death. Such bloodlines seldom last a fortnight. There are cycles in everything: plants, people, and kingdoms. The natural course of things is unavoidable, save by those who are not captive to the spirit of the age. Politics, and life itself for that matter, can be reduced to the question, “Who really sees the way forward?” The state of things and what is actually going on is quite difficult to grasp, for it requires a voluntary application to death row. When someone sees, what is seen is nearly always contrary to the state that most would agree is the case, so their contrariness seldom amounts to any good. It is your job to ensure she does not become someone who sees, or at least someone who cannot think well enough to see if she wanted to.

There is a limited degree of power available on the blue ball, and most think that it is in ruling over others. Nothing makes one feel like a god more than having a say over others. The desire to avoid living from sweat has them pursuing means to live off the sweat of others. The ability to determine life, death, and specifics of another’s life is a tantalizing temptation few can refuse. Power is much like a cocoon – more of a catalyst than a corruptor. Do your part to help and encourage friendly agents to get as many young into positions of power as early as possible, before anyone knows what kind of fruit they will bear.

Some trust in tanks, some in nukes, but we trust in deception at all levels. The world of politics is one of our many multi-sided fronts in the great War of Worlds. Some agents focus on the legislation and corruption of those in power, while others focus on the perception and response of the common man to such actions. Part of your jurisdiction falls in the latter. There are three general groups it would be good for you to begin categorizing people into: lower, middle, and higher. Each category has its respective strengths and weaknesses. Whether or not one can change categories depends on the structure of the culture and government of the country they inhabit. Our goal is to move people down the slope of intelligence and capacity by any means possible and keep them there for as long as possible. More easily done by causing them to question everything, though there is an inherent danger in this as well, for ‘everything’ includes our operation. The larger the organization, the less efficient. This is especially and most easily seen in national governments. The enemy works to move people up the ladder. Those at the top of the ladder are not easily influenced, but there are fewer of them. Those at the bottom are also hard to influence but for other reasons, though this group is slightly larger than those at the top. The largest group is those in the middle who are swayed by such silly things as ideological advertising, evidenced by the effort and expense expended on shaping opinions around election season. It would be a disaster were you to allow your patient to become so settled and unmovable that advertisements would lose their power. Our empire is built on change and the promise that it will bring what is lacking, when, in fact, it is simply what was had two generations ago. Humans pride themselves on their right to choose what will destroy them – freedom they call it, but always with the attached nonrefundable gift of unforeseen consequences.

The desire to understand is present in most humans. These days, it is quite unnecessary to worry about this threat for several reasons. First, one cannot speak about anything these days without being qualified as an expert by those who qualify themselves as experts. If an accurate understanding of the state of things cannot be had by the common man, Copeland’s fanfare is no more than a funeral durge, for all are enslaved to the intelligencia. Second, though I go to great lengths to avoid anything that might hint of praise of the opposition, the way things are set up is quite clever. His goods are accessible to all who follow the path but hidden from those who would take shortcuts. He guards his secrets closely, opening them to those he trusts to use them correctly. He desires that all receive power to do as they wish, so long as they wish what he wishes. He’d rather not micromanage, especially not at the cost of growth and personal responsibility. Third, these days most think that the nature of things, as well as the great questions of life, are too deep or unanswerable. Whichever of our cohorts came up with that idea was positively brilliant. What better way is there to make them avoid the obvious answer than to keep them from asking questions by convincing them there is no answer or that they must think themselves greater than all the greatest minds before them to justify taking a stab? Fourth, we have flooded the market with nitwits, hoaxes, and conspiracy theories which bear enough resemblance to the actual state of affairs to keep them enthralled but are rather circular in nature. The longer we keep them chasing made-up ghosts by self-proclaimed intellectuals to provide intellectual cohesion, the less likely they will be to piece together the divine conspiracy all around them.

With the political season around the corner, it would be advantageous for you to understand the opportunities available to you for your client. All humans, yours included, have within them a sense that things are not right and ought to be better. A rather embarrassing reality, really, were they to reason that their collective internal ‘ought’ must have a fulfillment, for no desire exists without something that was meant to fulfill it. Children long for love and safety, men for glory and power, and all people for a fair situation in which wrong is absent and goodness prevails. Work quickly to hide man’s previous attempts, and subsequent failures, at utopia. Those who cannot rule themselves stop at nothing to rule others, for they must rule something. For what? More dirt that one has say over? More technologically advanced rock slingers? To go down in history as someone who ruled dirt, weaseled their way into influence, or built the biggest pile of dirt? It is all quite silly. Not as a strategy, mind you, but as something they are content with. They blindly trade the opportunity to train for ruling over much larger quantities of dirt, among other things, and settle for ruling over miniscule plots they call countries. They know nothing of the expanse of lands, kinds of animals, or technology that awaits, though they have humorously categorized their ongoing Stoneage into ages, with ‘Stoneage’ being in the past. This faint sense of something ‘more’ is exploited by political charlatans. Drunk citizens raise their heads from the proverbial gutter yet again at the word of a new political elixir to surpass all the previous ones. This is where ignorance of history comes into play. The quickest way to destroy a group of people is to keep them from learning history, though they won’t learn this without studying history. Why is history so powerful, you might ask? Because nearly everything has been tried before, that’s why. Humans are not a blank slate, so to speak, whose natures can be designed as one desires. They have certain parts, a certain makeup, a certain way of working together best, and can only be whole if the design is understood and repaired according to the architect, though this can’t happen without dependence. These facts alone would shut down most modern attempts to build a new world order. You see, Muckworth, man loves to see himself at the top of the totem pole but hates to be asked from whence the wood came, and you mustn’t let her.

The promise of ‘something more’ is not a pipedream, rather, it is deeply indicative of nature. We convince himbos that a position of power will fill their desire, though the position is only achievable by convincing others that he will fill their desire. The onlookers with no capacity to achieve power relinquish reason to their political savior and in four years must find someone to blame when paradise is lost. Who better to nemesize than those poor souls who have sought actualization of ‘something more’ in a different way, when we are the ones to blame? The answer to the current political climate lies within each individual, not in their legislators. That there is a right is the case, but we don’t let them consider that partisanship bickering wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t a right worth fighting for, or that it ought to be attainable. If the right doesn’t exist why fight? And if the right exists but they can’t know it, who's to say whether fighting or not fighting, or on which side to fight would be better, for no one knows? But a way must be had. When parties disagree in court, an appeal is made to a higher court. When disagreement is had there, another appeal is made to an even higher court, and so on until the highest authority in the land issues a verdict. We would rather have them not ask to whom the highest authorities of the land should appeal when in disagreement, for they would be getting too close to his camp. Most would rather not submit to the idea that someone has the final say over things. A majority can decide reality, and if the decision is undesirable, use any means necessary to ensure that the reality they want is realized. You see, that is all politics is - a clash of ideas people choose for power. It hints at our opponent's wisdom, for his way is not so obvious as to crush them into robothood, but obvious enough for many to devote their lives to politics to answer the ought, while avoiding the responsibility that their endeavors will not work, for they ought to first answer where the “ought” came from. Since no one would be considered the final authority on anything, which is far too much power, it is very easy to move on to “there is not a way things are.” Hinder the next possible thought, though, that this is the way things are.

Most of the political perspectives and opinions are based on one idea or category of ideas, as opposed to another idea or category of ideas. Effort is then expended on conjuring, or fabricating in dictatorships, votes to actualize one’s reality. There is a spectrum of the conjured which ranges from “Let the whole world explode for all I care” to “I can effect some level of change” to “My will WILL be realized at any cost.” The first will give their vote for bread, and only contribute to the decline of the society. The second are much more active and include both those who intend good as well as ill for others. The third group are delightfully deadly, for their will is supreme and they will stop at nothing when challenged. These are the leaders and want-to-be leaders who would rather put others down to create their own pitiful version of reality, so long as they are in charge, rather than step down so others can be lifted and grow closer to reality, which unfortunately is intended for their good. Yes, that does mean that we are the underdogs of reality, but unfortunately have no chance of a comeback. Quite the opposite, in fact. But I digress. Underneath all opinions, there are only a few fundamental ideas that form the basis of every life and only a couple of options from which to choose. These fundamental ideas can be gotten at by such questions as “How will I determine what the right questions are? What can be relied upon for information leading to the answers? Is there anything at stake if I am wrong? Is there a way things are?” If not, it doesn’t matter. If so, “how did things get this way?” And, after having travelled some distance, “what should I do in light of what I have found?” Just hearing these questions alone is enough to sink many a ship, due partly to the fact that most cultures and subcultures no longer value and consequently teach critical thinking and introspection. And why would they? More is to be gained by indoctrinating that which increases the GDP than that which encourages questioning if there is something more valuable than the GDP, which, unbeknownst to them, would raise the GDP despite all appearances to the contrary. To build one’s own kingdom without regard for the Kingdom yields neither; to aim at his Kingdom first nets both. A well turns the cracked cistern into a fountain; excess abounds where there is no need for a search; and energy is hard to waste when others have nought with which to drill. Get her caught up in the empty winds of the kingdoms built with hands, so that she will avoid the sustenance of that carved without.

Keep your patient tied up with discussions about politics that do not take foundational inquiries into account, for the enemy has gained nothing from such exchanges in....well....all human history. If she starts out what ought to be a political conversation with someone who begins with, “on what do you place your trust?” or “on what basis do you determine values?” or better yet, “before we begin, let's briefly review what has been tried and the results of such endeavors”, get her out of there! But, it is not the end if you are unable to lure her away, so long as you impress her with the idea that she is right and must put down such insolent pedanticism. You may have noticed the subtle change in airs she has acquired as her cognition develops. She has caught on to the fact that there is a mind held by her popular peers which brings acceptance and comfort when adopted, but she hasn’t caught on to the price of adoption. Well on her way to achieving fabricated status in that circle of mindless gnats (a political endeavor of its own right), she is on the path to being a somebody of nobodies - a position quite difficult to be removed from, for who can question the ones who have raised her up to raise themselves without throwing her entire world into chaos? You should be concerned, however, if she develops that strand of thought that begins to weigh the results of social pretending, always accompanied by character gerrymandering, with the results of facing the chaos alone. The number of dissatisfied pretenders always eclipses the number willing to stop. Simply put, no one likes to take the fall, as it requires facing our beloved dragons of chaos and uncertainty who, as you are aware, are no laughing matter and have claimed many a well-intentioned do-gooder.

Which political system or perspective should you work to inculcate? The enemy works under all political systems. The more tyrannical and oppressive, the more easily subjects seek an alternative. The more affluent, the quicker the realization that it is all fluff. He works on a different plane that is not visible or destructible. The political system most harmful to our cause is that most in accord with the enemy’s system. We have managed to press home the fictitiously twisted meaning of “separation of church and state,” in order to keep his affairs out of ours. Most are too dense to realize that the current understanding of “separation of church and state” leads to a separation of the state, though given the state of the church, who could blame them?

Power and authority work differently in our realm. Put bluntly, it’s every fiend for himself. To date, it appears that you have the potential to ruin many and thus become great, and I am willing to invest in such an endeavor, but I want a return on my investment. We don’t operate like the enemy who uses some to plant, others to water, and all for the good of all with his blessing. We don’t invest unless we get something in return, and you will give me something in return. Otherwise, you will be a nobody who won’t incur my favor, and I’m kindly warning you that you want to incur my favor which demonstrates that I am a kind person whose favor you want to incur.

Whether you lure her into the national swamp of politics or not, keep her caught in relational politics. Focus her on righting others and systemic change and keep far from her the idea that she should live as if she were the queen and the empire rested on her shoulders, for in a sense, it does. Partisans hold the idea that power is reigning over flesh. They build their empires on the foundation of convincing everyone they are a success. Actual power involves governing spirits, and one cannot reign over their spirit or others, without first realizing they can’t, for who would seek to build something on the premise of incapacity? They have not the right eyes to see that things are not always as they appear. Down is up. Death is life. Giving is receiving. Again, the enemy raises his dastardly head, for he went down to death to give. How is it possible? That great debacle never should’ve happened, but that is for another day. Our goal is to keep their gaze on anything that will prevent them from seeing the kingdom among them, for it is far closer than I can ever get comfortable with. Catch her in fruitless quarrels, vain pursuits, and conspiracy theories, anything but the Divine Conspiracy.

Your Affectionate Uncle, Wormwood

P.S. - One more thing, tell your brother Facefungas, or so his name ought to be, to stay out of my shrubbery. I intend to cover the lot in itching powder as a means of dissuasion if my carbuncles don’t get the best of me. Though, if it happens again, I’ve a mind to add chili pepper to the concoction, among other things. I didn’t heist the shrubs from the gardens of 23 grandmas only to have the fruit of my labor trampled by an incompetent brute.