Science

A satire based on C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters"

Contrary to common reason, reason has helped us reason many out of reason. The human willingness to accept any explanation, no matter how far-fetched or illogical, so long as it gives a semblance of an excuse to ignore reality and acknowledge Him, was much stronger than we had ever anticipated. Never run from an opportunity to confound no matter how foolish it might appear, as the end justifies all means.

***

The most difficult challenge to the supremacy of science is to explain that part of humans that seeks an explanation. Mud does not seek answers nor is it the answer. Tucked away somewhere in their finite bodies is that ‘thorn in science’s flesh’ – the human spirit. Tied to their bodies in some imperceptible way, yet separate. It’s as if part of them is above science and cannot be examined in a laboratory. Most of them think, as one of our most recent campaigns has targeted this area, that they are merely physical creatures. The honest enquirer, however, might discover that the painted set is not actually a real town at all, for science cannot adequately explain many metaphysical realities including insight, knowledge, logical and mathematical truths, ethical beliefs, aesthetic judgments, and physical matter itself. As your patient gets older, her curiosity will flourish and questions deepen. What better way is there to counter this threat than the idea that a puzzle piece with the image of a flower is the whole puzzle? Once she has accepted this, distract her from the next obvious questions such as: “Why aren’t the edges even?”, “Are there other kinds of flowers?”, and “Did the flower make this piece or vice versa?”

There are observable and repeatable conclusions in the lab that are called ‘scientific’. There are also conclusions drawn by scientists that they claim are based on science but are actually outside the realm of the observable and repeatable, and thus in the realm of faith. It would lead to disaster were she to discover the number of ‘scientists’ who are actually doomsday evangelists in disguise. How does this happen, you might wonder? Simple. Most of these conclusions of science are decided by the structure of their biased mind (the one thing we have going for us on earth) long before the scientific process is initialized. This leads to incredible blind spots only discoverable by a ruthless honesty that is willing to pay any price to find the truth. Such honesty, however, only has two possible outcomes determined by one’s presuppositions: a beautifully oppressive nihilism for those with anti-supernatural inclinations, or to our nemesis, for those who acknowledge there is more to reality than meets the eye. The presuppositions one begins the journey with determine to which destination one arrives.

***

The question of origins cannot be answered by science, for events belonging to history cannot be observed or repeated. Science is a tool used to understand a subset of reality but is quite useless for anything else. Its language of logic, however, is shared by all other subsets. That humans exist and that matter exists cannot be questioned, save by loons who would rather annihilate reason than face reality. I once managed to trap a pitiful gal in the idea that the law of non-contradiction did not apply to her. A rather difficult achievement I still relish in. In fact, she saw this law as oppressive, restraining, and non-descriptive of reality to the point of admitting that she could both be sitting and standing at the same time, and that “either/or” was a cruel human construct as she preferred “both/and”. As it is with such simpletons who sophisticate themselves into madness, they do not take their own bodies into consideration. Had someone delivered her pompous cheek a well-placed slap, would she have accepted the retort to her inquisition, “I both slapped you and didn’t slap you, which means: I both am and am not responsible”? Or would the court have accepted a guilty and not-guilty plea? It is one thing to claim one believes something with the tongue; it is wholly another to witness the body’s demonstration of its beliefs and reality’s response, or indignant lack thereof, to one’s whims.

Let her not wonder from whence things came. The only observable and repeatable explanation for life is that life begets life. While it is obvious that nothing new is created or destroyed, you must place before her that things either never were created, that nothing created something, or that things created themselves. The first is a hard sell even to the half-crazed, but the latter two options, though difficult, are more promising and might just crowd out the enemy altogether. It would be a dream come true if we could somehow advertise the ‘new’ and ‘exciting’ idea that nothing was actually something and that this nothing had the capacity to do things. Their reality had a start and a starter, but if she begins to think along these lines, you will lose her for sure, for there is only one option. What better way to get back at him than to lead those he cherishes into concluding there is neither a plan nor a planner? Even then, he can still win them back if they are allowed to wonder why they seek an answer. They are, after all, walking starter packs with sophisticated parts that lack an adequate explanation in the physical world. Convincing them of their unsophistication from an unknown origin would probably be the best way to lock them into a black hole of the mind. However, this does lead to the awful thought that we might actually have to live with those trapped creatures one day. It would be terrible indeed, as they would be incapable of life in its fullness due to their incomplete nature, yet they would be on our side and in our dwellings, even though we would rather never cross paths with them as they remind us too much of him. Not sure which would be worse: living with them, which means he has less joy, or living alone without the lost beasts and allowing him more joy. Either way, it appears we get the short end of a very large stick that, I fear, will be used for far more than simply delineating ends.

***

The accidental injury of one of their ‘gods of sport’ evokes all manner of prayers, good thoughts, and ‘vibes’ for a quick recovery. Yet, the purposeful killing of thousands annually by the will has become altogether expected and commonplace. This is only possible thanks to our efforts to convince them that the human heart does not exist, and thus the teaching of virtue is a waste. They have no inkling to look for a fix, for they see nothing as broken. The enemy, on the other hand, sees their pitiful pieces of life as somehow redeemable (not something I could understand if I wanted to) and offers them a fuller understanding of themselves, though dire indeed, and further, actually offers to walk with them through the renovation process. A strategy too hideous for further exploration. Despite the modern advances in science and medicine, mankind is scarcely more “lord of the flesh” than at any time before. While they appear to own the keys to health and wellness, they have merely borrowed them from the owner and even then struggle to use them correctly. Her discovering the degree to which those in medicine have no idea what they are doing as they attempt to tame a wild beast would be an embarrassing and difficult position for you to recover from. All roads of medicinal science lead to such seemingly unguided interlinked complexity that one is left trying options that might – but aren’t guaranteed – to work, for something unseen is driving the car, so to speak. The human consciousness sits atop a complex pyramid, not of their making. Most of the pitifuls see themselves as independent and determiners of their own destiny. A clever hoodwinking, for which our school takes credit, only possible by the fact that they have yet to be acquainted with their sinoatrial node. Their body, dare I say for fear of making him look good, is a masterpiece of creation, enough on its own to lead them to him. Their greatest minds can’t produce anything save embarrassingly crude imitations. If thoughtful purposeful intelligence can’t create anything close, could lifeless matter show them up? Why, yes indeed! For them, things don’t have to make sense. They are willing to bow their knee to dirt as the architect in order to avoid the world, and consequently their life, having design. They aren’t far off, however, for the architect’s knee once graced their dirt, forming a design into which life was breathed. It matters not how far off the path you take your vulnerable project, only ensure that she is off altogether.

***

When it comes to science, most governments and educational establishments are on our side. Having formed a consensus of nitwits, all manner of literature and media is produced attempting to answer all questions with science, while not answering how colliding atoms produce the questions they attempt to answer in the first place. You will find such mediums littered with ‘hedge words’ which allows those speaking to appear that they know what they are talking about while having no actual clue. We have managed to weasel the desire for money into the creation of curriculum, and have even convinced the most ardent that the answer to their inner hunger for righteousness can be met by their adherence to the god of science – a religion of scientific rigorism. They initiate the process toward such righteousness in an attempt to be ‘of the truth’ but end up close-minded and further from reality than before they had begun. They cleverly hide behind time and chance, all to keep from looking reality in the face. Isn’t that delightful? You should not fear that all of this will be discovered, for, by now, I hope you are beginning to understand just how gullible the dirt walkers are. They have no problem building the past on the chances of 1x10(50th), but wouldn’t wage their own future on 50/50. Never underestimate a human’s ability to rationalize the unrationalizable, for they will surprise you every time.

Humans find comfort in agreeable surroundings to the point that they are willing to forsake reason to keep the peace. Well, it’s not peace, but a peaceful postponement. After all, what profit could they find in preserving their soul but losing everything else? We run the cultural show that determines what ‘everything’ is. If they try to stand against our show, we simply ignore or expose them. Condition your protégée to only consider the immediate cost as opposed to how it will affect her in 30 years, the next generation, or posterity itself for that matter. Each of them is a king or queen in a sense and has been given a say over resources, tools, and capacities, but, fortunately for us, they don’t know this. If they did, they might consider how to lead their kingdom, for which we don’t have any good examples.

Science is both a blessing and a curse. It is capable of leading many into nonsense, especially those who lose themselves in the subset without consideration for the other sets. However, while the field is large, it is full of a thousand wildflowers with his signature. One of our greatest accomplishments in modern history is the cognitive genocide and the ultimate extinction of the awareness of the human heart. Not that we have actually ended its existence, but, rather, have so buried it under misconceptions, fallacies, and cultural norms as to render it nonexistent. If she begins to question the nature of reality, she might be tempted to start in the sciences. If she is honest – a trait whose price is proportional to the reward – she will find a scientific explanation of reality woefully inadequate. If she cannot find the answer in science, she will likely seek it in the labyrinth of religion, whose many tunnels and false chambers mean the end of most. Work to instill in her now a desire for peace at any cost, for the light of honesty is the only way to distinguish the tool marks on the tunnels of the religious underworld. You’ve heard that “all roads lead to Rome”. Well, without honesty, all roads lead to our cramped abode. I hate to inform you that, no matter how messed up an earthling might be or where they start, taking the honest road at each divergence leads to him. As you know, our leader, whom I’d shank in the spleen if given the right opportunity, is lazy and runs a sloppy organization if it can be called that. If you think ours goes to and fro looking for a good opportunity, you know nothing of the enemy. He’s got everything mapped. He knows every trap, scheme, and vice. He walks every path, stands on every corner, and is closer than even some of his followers are aware. You will get tired of seeing him, for not only is his light painfully bright, but he doesn’t tire. He wrote the laws of science and delights in their upkeep. If I’ve learned anything at all from my past dealings with him, in regards to science that is, he is likely one invisible step away from destroying their will with sight. I am sometimes overcome by that nagging fear that we are walking into a trap. It seems very much like him to take something that everyone knows and understands is there – an answer for which they could seek and whose explanation is himself – and one day remove the blindfold so that all are without excuse. While we don’t have access to how everything works, I fear that he has horrible surprises planned that will not be favorable toward us. Teach her to sell her heart for fleeting morsels. We can’t have her shaking our gates for an answer we don’t have. Best to never let her start down the path of asking questions in the first place. To accomplish this, surround her with those who don’t know anything but act like they do and don’t want their face uncovered. Or, with those who do but are set on power and influence by beating the answers into her. No matter what, do not let her sit on a swing and listen to the deafening chirping of stupid birds. Oh, and waterfalls. Keep her far away from those. Not only can our fragile structures not handle the thunderous pouring, but there are vile temptations such as a rainbow, mist, and all the manner of lifeforms they attract. All of which point unmistakably toward a reality of good gifts that come down from above. I regret to inform you that there is no such thing as a god-forsaken place, a fact of which most Earthlings are unaware. The language of science is spoken in all corners of the world. If you can’t convince her that her physical reality is not real, convince her that it is a game. If you can’t convince her it is a game, convince her that it is god. If you can’t convince her that it is god, convince her she is god. If you can’t convince that either she or physical reality is god, there are no options left – she is treading dangerously close to his camp, toward which all of reality is a slippery slope.

***

One final thought, nothing has been uncovered in the area of science that disproves the enemy. A fact you must sequester. Lead her to those who say, “You have no proof of God, thus, I will wait until science has closed the gap.” Though, if she embraces this, let her not see that she is choosing to live as if the gap is already filled by something. We don’t have to prove what is false, only not let them embrace what is true. With what they fill the gap, we couldn’t care less. Lead her to unquestioning acceptance of science as the landlord of reality, to hide the fact that it is a meager tenant. To look in the face of nature is to see the tip of his brush. Keep her from looking too closely, or she might wonder whose brush it is. Best to surround her with those who think the deeper questions of life are pointless, unanswerable, and fit only for fuddy-duddies. Don’t let her question where she came from or how her existence is upheld. Unless, of course, you would rather go back to the guild? You will do as I say and accept it, for I am wise and you will submit to my straightening you out or you are dead to me.

With affection, Uncle Wormwood

P.S. – Whatever possessed you to send the chocolate babka is anyone’s guess. Had you taken up the culinary arts, you would only be doing his side a favor. It is unclear whether the nauseating flavors were a result of your inability to read the recipe, the putrid growth in your ancient oven, or the fact that it was your mother’s recipe. Having failed miserably, it is clear that cooking is yet another of the many things you will never be good at.